I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
