Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
