I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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