I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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