That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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