Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
