i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
