I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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