i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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