She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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