Soap is not a condiment
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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