his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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