note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
