Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
