make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
