I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize