one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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