dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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