my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
