I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
