Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
