so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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