I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to cum in my sink.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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