Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Small penises have feelings too.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
there is glitter all over my balls
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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