i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
