im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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