all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
