maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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