i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
