I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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