Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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