he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
