Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
