Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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