Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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