I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
