Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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