I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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