shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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