it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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