Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
