What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You are a genius and a whore.
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