First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
