I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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