I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i came on her dog
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
