But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it because I queefed?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
