Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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