Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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