what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
