Cold hands, warm shart.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
