you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize