quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I deserve this hangover.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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