Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
