We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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