You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
