JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
