You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
