You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i dont even know how to be here
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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