did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
