the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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