I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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