Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
