Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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