You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
