Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
