it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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