her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
